


Dis-Entitled Dreams

by Revenge2424



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-16 20:00:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2282712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revenge2424/pseuds/Revenge2424
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was all just a dream? There's no way that can be. Dean awakes and yells out in fear of where Sammy may be. Dean is in love with his baby brother who doesn't even know he exists. And now he has to get away to find him. But once he does... What might he say and do? What is the script that was laid out in him mind tell him to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first chapter, and... It's not super long. But I really hope you enjoy. I'll try to get more up. Oh, and I guess you say Disclaimer or Whatever the hell... Anyway, I don't own any of this except for the writing I guess. I wish I owned Sam and Dean, but I don't. I hope you like it!

Dean had two main thoughts running through his head. Where was he? And where’s Sammy?

"Sir!" A female voice shouts. "Dean. We talked about this. You can't visit your brother."

"WATCH ME!" He shouted! "Where is he!?" Dean shouts.

"Dead. I'm sorry. He died 22 years ago."

"N-no he's not... He can't be." Dean says.

"I'm sorry Dean. You tripped with your little brother running out of house fire. Something happened that no one knows. Sam's body was never found."

"It's complicated! You have to let me go! I need to do this!"

"Do what?" She asks.

"I know where Sammy is."

"You have to let me go!" Dean pleads.

"Sir. I'm afraid we can't do that." She says.

"Can't or won't?" Dean asks. He was put in the hospital at age twenty one, for trying commit suicide. He’d still seen enough movies.

"Won't." She said. Then snapped her fingers. "It's too much fun having you here." The voice hissed, deeply as if it were digging into Dean’s brain.

Dean flailed his arms uselessly in a defense that he didn’t know. Like he was drugged. He went a little woozy. The room slowly disappeared and the women in front of him’s face shrunk in and disorientated.  Think Dean! He yelled at himself mentally. Save Sammy dammit!

“Poor, poor Dean. Living in his fantasy world for all these years. But, alas, it has to come to an and.” And with that, the ‘women’ snapped her fingers and Dean was back in the fictional world again.

*** *** ***

“Oh yeah. They put me on everything.” Sam said with a chuckle. And Dean nodded.

“It’s... Spec-tac-ulac-ular.” He said, pupils fully blown from the drugs.

“I think you were, a happy drunk.” Dean said, but the part of him that’d just seen the real world had given up.

Sam frowned in confusion, until a more serious look crossed his face. Or at least, you could call it serious. “Dean. The doctor. Wasn’t a wraith.” Sam said serious, but enthusiastically.

“Yeah... I know...?” He said trying to keep the confusion in him to a minimum. He didn’t want Sam thrown off, but Dean didn’t know if he was telling the truth.

Sam looked comically stunned, and in disbelief, of Dean knowing this, which put Dean on edge, suspecting that Dean was lying could throw off whatever was happening.

“I don’t understand. I mean I saw it. In the mirror. It wasn’t human” Dean lied quickly, hoping Sam would buy it, being high off drugs.

“Or you’re seeing things. May-Maybe, Maybe, you’re going crazy.” Sam said with a look of what might be psychotic, mix with drugs.

“I’m not crazy.” Dean reassured. But he was more telling himself this fact.

“Well...come on. I mean, you've been at least...half crazy for a long time, and since you got back from hell, or since before that, even. I mean, we're in a--we're in a mental hospital.” Sam laughed half-heartedly. Then nodded his head slowly. “Maybe-Maybe you finally cracked! You know, maybe now you are really...for real...crazy...”

Dean didn’t have anything to say to that at first, he didn’t remember this happening in his head. Maybe the crazy bitch in the real world wanted to see Dean’s new reaction. “I made a mistake. That’s all.”

Sam nodded in understanding. “Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I know.” Sam assured. Sam rested his  hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean looked down uncomfortably at Sam’s hand. His shoulder and, something else, twitched involuntarily.

“It's okay. Hey, hey. Look at me.” Sam said, his voice laced with sympathy.

Dean looked at Sam with a fake smile on his face, and he shifted to cover up his groin which was okay with Sam’s hand motions.

“It's okay...because you're my brother...and I still love ya.” Sam said. Dean, was hurt by the brother part, but his body reacted to the ‘love ya’ part.

Dean nods anyway to show Sam he’s listening. Sam rests his finger on Dean’s nose momentarily, before saying, “Boop.”

*** *** ***

Dean wakes again with the nurse in front of him. “Are you a wraith?” Dean asks her.

She snorted before glancing around the room, as an obvious sign for Dean to guess again. But Dean doesn’t want to guess again. Dean, is sick and tired of, games. He just want’s to get back to Sammy. He doesn’t care if that life isn’t real. He isn’t being released, and he knows where to find Sam. If he’s twenty six. Sam must be at Stanford. And, the yellow-eyed-demon.. Or Azazel, was going to kill Jess.

“What month is it?”

“Why does that matter?”

Dean sighed. “Please, answer the question.”

The women rolled her eyes. “October. October 29th.” Dean looked closer at her name tag. ‘Eris.’ The name rung a bell. And Dean was out again in a minute.

*** *** ***

“I got to tell you... you guys were the biggest clue.” The old man across from them said. He wore a blue ball cap. Dean recalled seeing this man, but his eyes weren’t as worn out. Dean’ll have to guess this is an vision at an earlier time frame then the last time he’d seen this guy in a dream.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, from his side. His hazel eyes bright with confusion.

“These things create chaos and mischief as easy as breathing, and it's got you so turned around and at each other's throats, you can't even think straight.” The old man said again, what was his name.. Bobby right? But this time unlike other dreams, bits and pieces came back.

“The laptop.” Sam said. Dean remembered, that what he assumed was years after this, Frank Deveraux destroyed Sam’s macbook. Which made Dean chuckle inwardly.

“The tires.” Dean said, as if this has happened before, which would be a good assumption. He just can’t remember. Putting the pieces together

“It knows you're onto him, and it's been playing you like fiddles.”

“So, what is it, what, what, spirit, demon, what?” Dean asked, he felt as if in this reality, this is what he’d ask. But even in the reality he was apart of, he was confused.

“Well, more like demigods, really. There's Loki in Scandinavia. There's Anansi in West Africa. Dozens of them. They're immortal, and they can create things out of thin air. Things as real as you and me. Make them vanish just as quick.”

And that’s when it clicked. The next second, he was about to awaken in reality.

*** *** ***

He awoke, and his eyes met the woman's again. “Trickster.” He muttered.

“He realizes.” She said. She played with her nails.

“Clever. Eris. Adorable.” He spat. But then he hunched over his bed and coughed up blood. He gripped the sheets tight as he lost blood. Then bubbles came foaming out of his mouth. Dean began to choke and sputter, not sure what he should do with... Soap?

“Sorry, had to wash out your mouth. You’re about to cough up water, run to the sink.” She said smirking. 

Dean kept his dignity and didn’t move. “Arrogant things you are.” She continued, as she filed her already manicured nails. “Always so intent on pride.” And Dean water began to come spilling out of his mouth. He gagged, with a lack of air.

“Bitch.” He choked out. Only to gasp for air again.

*** *** ***

Air drained from my lungs as his was grasped by the ankle. He squirmed trying to free himself, but in defense threw Lucas up to the surface as he struggled.

“Dean!” He heard muffled in the water.

And that’s what did it for him. He imagined Sammy, having Jess dead, mom dead, and him dead. Not knowing how to find or contact dad. Dean ripped his leg free and jerked forward completely as the air hit his face.

He watched as the ghost made it’s way over to Sheriff Jake. He wanted to yell at the bastard to get out off the lake but the only thing he managed was a strained “No!” Until Jake was dragged under and it was only Sam, Dean, and Lucas in the lake.  

*** *** ***

“Just giving you a sore reminder of what it feels like to drown.”  Anan stretched out lazily like a cat.

Dean continued to shake, not because he almost drowned, not because of the look of joy on Andrea’s face. Not because Lucas was breathing, because Sammy was able to see that Dean was okay. Sam knew, that he wasn’t getting rid of Dean for awhile. Because he and Sam were about to go find a new motel, in a new town, to save someone else’s life.

“You have an interesting noggin my friend.” Anan muttered. She itched her body, Anan, was a tanner skinned lady. Decent build, 5’5”, pretty full lips. Hair of a goddess, that was thick and wavy, all a beautiful brown. If Dean weren’t too busy falling head over heals, for this maybe, maybe not real person, he would not mind her as an option.

Which reminded Dean. If Sam is truly out there, and they really do become a team, how is he going to manage if Sam makes out with a girl?

*** *** ***

“Baby, I’m already there.”  She smiled and slided over to Sam. Dean’s Sammy. His little brother. When she does something unexpected.  “Come on, Sam. There’s no need to be nasty,” She leaned in to whisper in his ear, which only aggravated Dean more. “I think we both know how you really feel about me. You know, I saw you watching me—changing in my apartment. Turned you on, didn’t it?”

Dean had to hold back his growl, to refuse to believe that. But, Dean was the one gay for his brother. So he can’t blame him. He couldn’t give away the fact that he wanted his brother like that, so he came up with the best thing possible to substitute. “Get a room, you two.”

“I didn’t mind. I liked that you were watching me. Come on, Sammy. You and I can still have a little dirty fun.”  She began to kiss Sam’s neck. Dean lifted his head up and made his eyes look away. He couldn’t watch this.

“You wanna have fun? Go ahead then. I’m a little tied up right now.” She smiled and continued to kiss him making sure that they had contact.

A noise on Dean’s side of the room made her stop. And Dean knew that she was going to do this. But as long as it took that bitch away from his brother, he would deal.

She got up and walks behind Dean’s post. Dean tried to hide his hand to make it look like he didn’t want to be caught. But he makes sure she sees he has a knife in his hand anyway. She takes it away and tosses it into a corner.

Meg swings around to the other side of the post, and smiles at Dean who chuckled guiltily. Not wanting her to see that he wasn’t still prideful. And to keep her occupied and away from Sam. She smirks at Dean as if she can hear his thoughts, and slides back over to Sam.

“Now, were you just trying to distract me while your brother cuts free?” She asked pretending to be hurt.

Sam chuckled darkly, a sound that Dean hasn’t not heard, but hasn’t heard it in a long time. “No. No. That’s because I have a knife of my own.”

*** *** ***

“You know Dean, you’re problem was you always sort of gave it away. Like, the unnecessary touches. The to long glances. The everything.” Anan said.

Dean groaned, as he massaged his temples, looking around the now cleaned room. “What’re you my psychiatrist?”

“That and your therapist.” She picked at the wall. “I do enjoy torture. But, torture is just far more interesting when you know the weakness huh?”

Dean was unimpressed with her. And gave her a rough glare, he was unamused with the situation, and needed a plan out of here. But with her invading his mind, and pulling him from any thought form, he couldn’t make anything.

And just as if she waited for him to sort that out, she trapped him in his mind once again.

*** *** ***

Apparently, in the awake universe, Anan did know what was going on in Dean’s brain. And she also so happened to not be a fan of it. So instead of giving Dean the freewill to speak. He was a ghost, who had to watch Sam have a conversation where he should be sitting. But, it was like a already filmed movie. He just had to watch and take in the small details.

Like it was scripted, it came out as something Dean would normally say. “Nice reflexes.” And Dean just laughed aloud, since no one could hear him.

“I knew it was going to happen, Dean. I know everything that's gonna happen.” Sam said. His voice was full of stress. Something that Dean didn’t pay attention to his first run-through with this.

As if on cue, to prove his point, alternate, real, seeable to Sam, Dean said, “You don't know everything.”

Sam scoffed in frustration. “Yeah. I do.”

“Yeah, right. Nice guess.” He watched himself say at the same time with Sam. But he never really noticed the worry lines that occasionally formed on Sam’s head. Or how his eyes were a really deep brown unlike the good looking hazel ones. And how Sam’s hair was greasy, and a mess, because he was tired of watching Dean die.

“It wasn't a guess.”

The rest of the conversation, went like them talking usion repetitively because that Dean refused to acknowledge that Sam actually was upset about Dean’s death millions of times in a row. That Sam was frustrated, and unable to take all his anger out on Dean, but instead just losing hope. “Right, you're a mind reader. Cut it out, Sam. Sam.”

They lean towards each other simultaneously.

“You think you're being funny but you're being really really childish! Sam Winchester wears makeup. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchester keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up he—” That Dean wasn’t ready to finish the sentence, so instead he threw his hands in the air.

“Okay! Okay! Enough!”

“That's not all. Randy the cashier? He's skimming from the register. Judge Myers? At night he puts on a furry bunny outfit.” Sam’s voice was so broken. Dean didn’t notice it before, but Sam was just done.

Judge Meyers, overhearing, knocked over his glass. Which usually would make Dean wince, or laugh, but he was too intent on his little brother.

“Over there, that's Cal. He's gonna rob Tony the mechanic on the way home.”

And that Dean said the stupidest thing. “What's your point?” Dean didn’t want to hear the answer. He knew it would break his heart. He knew that after noticing all of the signs of Sam’s attitude, the answer would express his little Sammy’s reached his end. And that hurt Dean.

“My point is I've lived through every possible Tuesday. I've watched you die every possible way. I have ripped apart the Mystery Spot, burnt it down, tried everything I know to save your life, and I can't. No matter what I do, you die. And then I wake up. And then it's Tuesday again.”

*** *** ***

“Why’re you doing this?” Were the first words to leave his mouth when he regained consciousness.

“I enjoy your pain.” She said carelessly. She went back to reading her book. “I don’t get where the ratings on this thing are from. I think I would know that Vampires... Do not sparkle.”

Dean chuckled a bit at this. Then reminded himself that she was obviously switching the subject.

“It’s more than that.” Dean combed his hands through his hair as he stared at Anan.

She frowned, and Dean blinked out of necessity, but all of a sudden was in his own world again.

*** *** ***

Dean looked at his computer, finally back in his body. Or what, his alternate universe body would be anyway.

He reached over to his side as if he didn’t have full control over his movements and grabbed a bottle of beer. He quickly popped off the cap with ease, and brought thing to his mouth eagerly. Just as he managed a sip he heard a door close.

Sam walked out wearing a long-sleeved gray shirt, that showed his curves which Dean did not happen to mind, and then Dean looked up, Sam’s hair was a mess. It fell into his face and was... Poofed up, if you will. Sam had bags under his eyes and massaged his temples.

Even though, the hair made Sam, Sam. Dean was not always fond of that overload of hair.  “Man, I’m telling you. Give me five minutes with a clippers-

Sam cut him off, “Oh shut up.” He said grumpily rubbing his nose, and trying to move the hair that was on his face.

Dean nodded in disbelief but, Sam continued anyway, “Uh... What time did I lay down?” He moved his hair to the side was again, holding it there as if that would change it.

The knowledge hit Dean like a book. He remembered the day clearly now. He glanced down at his watch. “You took a siesta around noon... Yesterday.”

Dean, believed it would be a good idea if Sam had some alcohol too. So he grabbed a bottle, and threw it to Sam. Sam blinked, and turned his head as he watched it fly by him and crash on the ground.

Dean winced as there was a crash on the ground, Sam did a 180 to seem what happened, and Dean lifted his hand to point and do something, but then resorted to resting it on the table and frown.

Sam turned around, and looked at Dean with his unsteady eyes. “I’m sorry... Uh...” Sam faced where the drink was then turned back to Dean.

“This is why we don’t have nice things Sam.” He said bluntly, staring with eyes of irritation.

*** *** ***

“You’re one to talk.” Anan said.

“Hmm?” Dean looked around the room to take in his surroundings. Making sure that everything was still in place.

“This is why we can’t have nice things Sam.” She mocked.

Dean sat for a moment trying to take in what was happening. He hadn’t really considered that he was living in his head, and imagining that he had a little brother. But, it turns out, his little brother is probably alive. There are really things that lurk in the night. And currently, one was sitting in front of him, mocking him because she believed he was weak. He’s have to show her. That he means business.

“You know. This game, is really interesting for me. Now, I could be doing other things, but this one, really interests me. Because your head is so messed up. You’re in love with your brother. One of which you don’t even know is real. You don’t even know if this is real. If I’m real.” She smirked at him.

Dean understood why she thought he was weak. He couldn’t tell right from wrong. And he was in love with someone who probably doesn’t exist. And if they did, it was his little brother. He was in love with his little brother. He tried to commit suicide. But they won’t let him. He doesn’t understand why. He’s got nothing to live for.

Except for how he does. How, if what he’s in right now is in real life. Then Sammy’s out there. Probably, partying. He was at Stanford, to be a law student. So Sam’s probably 22. Because Dean’s 26. And Dean knows, that if he gives up, and Sam really is there, and really is his brother, Jess is going to die.

“How do you do the mind thing?” He asked accidentally.

“Zap you in your mind?” Her eyebrows went up in disbelief.

Dean nodded with speed he didn’t know he had.

“It’s easy. Why?”

“Please. Zap me there, but let me choose where I go.” He didn’t mean for this to come spilling out but it didn’t change the fact that he’d already said it. He was expecting her to burst out laughing. Or tell him he was pathetic. But instead she pondered this.

“Seems fair.” Was the last thing Dean though he’d hear, before he was back in his mind.

*** *** ***

He looked around, there were slots. He needed to get to the first one.

Everything was dark, the only things were little moments put in different sections for him to see what his mind had made up for him. There were little voices that went around. Taunting, kind, he imagined his brain would be like that, although the taunting voices were his own. Which fit the self loathing pattern he had.

Then he heard the sarcastic voice that could be anyone he’d met. There was a pain filled voice that said, ‘I always trust you. And I always, end up screwed.’ It was a strain. It was the one that quietly said, you fail.

Before he could make it to the one he wanted he was pulled into a different one.

*** *** ***

This one too was a movie format. One that Dean had to watch.

“About what you said the other day.” The other Dean said, looking at Sam with hurt in his eyes.

“I thought it didn’t bother you.”

“You know Sam, I saved your hide back there. I saved your hide at that church — in the hospital. I may not think things all the way through but when I do, it’s because it’s the right thing. I’d do it again.” The other Dean said, and even though Dean wouldn’t say those exact words, he would always save Sammy. Because he couldn’t when he was four. He tripped. And he couldn’t protect him.

“And that is the problem. You think you’re my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in and even when you mess up you think what you’re doing is worth it because you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing more good than bad... but you’re not. Kevin’s dead, Crowley’s in the wind, we’re no closer to beating this angel thing, please tell me, what is the upside to me being alive?” Sam asked. And the other Dean stood dumbfounded. But Dean was in tears. He always wanted to protect Sammy. Do whatever he had to, to protect him. And even though he thought he was doing the right thing, Sam still hated him.

“Are you kidding me? You and me, fighting the good fight together.” The other Dean. And Dean made a hysterical choking sound at that. Because he knew how this ends. Remembers Sam being upset about being saved.

“Just once be honest with me, you didn’t save me for me. You did it for you.” And it was true. Dean loved Sam so much. He couldn’t imagine life with out his baby brother.

“What are you talking about?” The other movie Dean asked. Even though Dean, and movie Dean both knew what Sam was talking about.

“I was ready to die, I was ready. I should have died. But you, you didn’t want to be alone. That’s what this boils down to, you can’t stand the thought of being alone. I’ll give you this much, you are certainly willing to do the sacrifice, as long as you’re not the one being hurt.”

“Alright, you want to be honest, if the situation was reversed, and I was dying, you’d do the same thing.” The movie Dean said.

Dean knew the words about to come out of his brothers mouth. He knew the sharp pain that was about to stab him in the gut, “No Dean, I wouldn’t. Same circumstances, I wouldn’t. I’m heading to bed.” That was the one sentence that ripped Dean to pieces. The one thing that made Dean hate himself even more. The one thing equivalent to “I don’t need you anymore.” And that was all Dean’s job was. To watch out for Sammy. But Sam didn’t need him anymore. And Dean knew it to.

*** *** ***

He was back in his mind again. But this time, right by the memory he needed. He gave the place he was in, a final look through. And disappeared through the, not real memory.

*** *** ***

“Whoa, easy, tiger.” Dean said with a smirk as he pinned Sam onto the ground.

Sams breath was coming hard now. Maybe confusion, but along with getting pinned which made Dean feel stronger “Dean?”

At least he still recognizes me. Dean thinks. Dean laughs a little at his once little scrawny baby boy, who was now a big boy at stanford, but could still be pinned by Dean.

“You scared the crap out of me!” Sam accused almost breathlessly.

“That's 'cause you're out of practice.” He smirks, taking a moment to see the room.

Sam grabbed Dean’s hand and yanked it, slamming his heel into Dean's back, and pushes Dean to the floor.

“Or not.” Dean choked out.

Sam taps Dean twice where Sam is holding him. His face pressed into his neck he could feel Sam’s victorious smirk. And though where the lips just were, there was no meaning to them. And it ripped at Dean’s heart, just a bit harder than it should have.

“Get off of me.” Dean grumbled, as he tried to shake free, so he wouldn’t give off the vibe he enjoyed his brother on top of him.

Sam rolls to his feet and pulled Dean up. Dean grunted in response as his muscles and joints all made noises of protest.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam whisper shouted as if he talking would do something. Almost like there would be someone else here. That would break Dean’s heart.

“Well, I was looking for a beer.” Dean dusted himself off.

Dean rested his hands on Sam’s shoulders, shakes once, and let go. He gave Sammy one of his ‘missed you’ smiles that were usually reserved for seeing Bobby or something. Except Dean hoped that this one showed Sam some more compassion because Sam mattered more. He always would.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam asked again.

“Okay. All right. We gotta talk.” Dean said. Dean needed to take control of this dream at the right time. He had to try and save Jess. Or at least Sammy in the real world.

“Uh, the phone?” Sam suggested. Which made Dean chuckle, but more of one to cover up the pain that was filling his heart.

“If I'd'a called, would you have picked up?”

A women turns the light on. He remembers a thing or to. Movie him, and himself were having a mental war if he knew or not. The mental movie him had knew idea who this was yet. But reality Dean knew who she was. She was wearing very short shorts and a cropped Smurfs shirt. Dean probably would’ve been more concerned about this lovely lady, if he wasn’t gay for his brother.

“Sam?” The voice asked, laced with sleep.

Sam and Dean turned their heads in unison.

“Jess. Hey. Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.” Sam says proudly, which, movie Dean glows at, but reality Dean cringed on the inside.

Dean looks at her appreciatively. He can’t give away jealousy.

“Wait, your brother Dean?” Jess asks, and that warmed Dean’s heart slightly to know that Sam talked about him. Just depends on if what was said was good or not.

Jess smiled. Which obviously meant good things were said. Sam nods. Dean grins at her and moves closer. To put on the show, but movie Dean was generally interested.

“Oh, I love the Smurfs. You know, I gotta tell you. You are completely out of my brother's league.” Dean tries to look like he was sure of himself, but the mental war between himself, and the scripted self were putting him off.

“Just let me put something on.”

“No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously.” Movie Dean takes over. And leaves reality Dean clawing to get a word in.

Dean went back over to Sam, without taking his eyes off JESS. SAM watched him, his expression stony.

Dean took over a little bit from his scripted self. “Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business.” It scratched at his heart to say her boyfriend. But, Sam was the one who left. Dammit. He needed to keep his train of thoughts on saving Sam and Jess in the real world.

Dean mentally collapsed for a moment, and movie Dean takes control. “But, uh, nice meeting you.”

“No.” Was all Sam said. Sam went over to Jess and put an arm around her. “No, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her.” And that was enough to hurt real Dean that he took control.

“Okay. This is going to sound crazy. But you need to tell me exactly where we are right now.” Dean says, and he can feel movie Dean ripping at him, and it hurt like a bitch, but Dean needed to stay focused.

“Why?” Sam demanded.

Dean felt like his head was about to burst, so he massaged it. His eyes were squeezed tight. “Dammit Sammy please.” Dean began to shake as he fought to keep his body in control of the dream. He cannot lose.

“50 Austin Avenue, Hayward, CA 94544... 21B.” Jess answered quickly.

“Dean! What’s going on!” Sam shouts.

“I can’t hold it in much longer! Dammit Sammy I’m sorry! Guys! I’ll be back!” Dean says his body rocking with spasms.

“Wha-

*** *** ***

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Anan said. “Dean, you can’t do that stuff.” She cracked her wrists loudly. “My turn to pick! Oh goody!”

*** *** ***

Sam’s cold corpse was lying on a mattress. Dean sitting next to him, grieving. The worst thing was, movie Dean wasn’t really there. All these words

“You know, when we were little— and you couldn't been more than 5— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." Dean broke down. He felt all of the pain. He hated himself. Thought so little of himself.

“I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer.” Dean no matter what believed Sammy was the most important thing in the universe. And that this universe, the one that his mind created, he was made to love and take care of Sammy,because in the real world he wasn’t able to do that.

“I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job...And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry.” Dean took this too seriously. Maybe in this world, where movie Dean would be, hurt that he let his little brother down, so he played the role here, because in this fantasy world at least he got to meet his brother. But in the real world, he let his father down, he tripped and lost Sammy. And he let Sammy down by not being able to save him.

Dean wiped the tears that streamed down his face, because even though there was no one to prove it to, he wanted Sammy to know that he wasn’t weak. Except for how he was.

“I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that?”

“What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God.” Dean’s voice broke down. “What am I supposed to do?”

Dean went to stand up but just fell back in his seat and kicked out hard. “What am I supposed to do!?” He shouted before releasing all of the air he held in him. And cried some more.

*** *** ***

“You bitch!” He hollered as he awoke from his sleep to stare at the petite women.

“Wow Dean. You kiss your brother with that mouth? Oh wait. He doesn’t know you exist.”

“So he is real!” Dean exclaimed.

And before he was lost to the world again, he saw the woman's face, and it was full of anger and frustration at herself.

*** *** ***

Dean recognizes the setting instantly. This was the after show of the fairy case with Charlie and the LARPers. Dean enjoyed this world. He enjoyed knowing that, here, he was a full on, looked up to hero, and got to have fun. He didn’t have to put his life on the line. He could just pretend for a minute that he was allowed to live a normal life. That it wasn’t his job to save the whole world constantly. To see Sammy happy.

But, on this day, epic music played as the mist rose. This day always made him smile, he got to see, two armies of costumed LARPers are lined up facing each other. Dean himself was in costume and wearing a long-haired wig, addressed Charlie’s army. Half his face was painted red and part of the other half painted white. He wears two orc ears on a string around his neck. That day, was a break. It was a one of those, I give up, but I don’t. Because I’m surrounded and glowing with joy.

“And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance –” Dean starts. He began to give the Braveheart speech. He didn’t care if it looked dorky. Because that’s what today was. Being the biggest geek/nerd he was but refused to acknowledge.

Sam was standing in costume next to Charlie. His hair was in a ponytail. Which gave Dean unhealthy fantasies, of hot make-out scenes between the two, while Dean tugged at the pony tail that kept Sam’s hair up. As he whispered sweet, dirty things. He imagined Sam wearing a short skirt, and pink panties, with a pretty top, just for Dean, as Dean stroked around. But, Dean wasn’t supposed to think like that. Especially about his baby boy- Baby brother. Two opposite quarters of Sam’s face are painted red and a further quarter white. And Dean had to ignore how he could do so many things to Sam’s pretty face, and enticing lips- Ok enough Dean!

“Isn't that the speech from –” Charlie started.

“It's the only one he knows.” Sam mumbled as he kept his eyes trained on his brothers testily and saw that Dean had a boner. And Dean could tell Sam was confused but probably wanted to know what it was from. He’d probably say pretty girl in the crowd.

“Just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take...” Dean continued as he tried to pry his eyes off of the seeable part of Sam’s chest.

“Hold!” A squire from Charlie’s army called out.

The music came to an abrupt stop. Which made Dean upset, he was enjoying this. A Frisbee sailed onto the ground in the space between the two armies and a man ran after it. Which Dean knew he couldn’t blame those people for trying to do normal, non-nerdy things, but he still was frustrated that they had the nerve to cut him off mid-speech. People in the armies had begun to mutter.

“Uh, my bad.” The man’s voice came.. The Man picks up the Frisbee and runs away. “Sorry.”

Dean turns back to the army and nodded to the Squire, who gave him a thumbs-up along with an encouraging smile. The music resumed.

Dean rose and shook his fake sword “Our freedom!” Dean shouted because this was more fun than he’d had in a while. The armies cheered and ran at one another. The enthusiasm was a rush for Dean. He could only imagine what he looked like, Sam running at Dean’s side, swords raised. It made Dean’s heart flutter, this was what he loved. Being with Sammy, and forgetting about the monsters, and all of the judgemental folks around.  

*** *** ***

“Speechless.” She said. She looked at Dean with almost what might be mistaken as compassion behind her eyes.

Dean knew that she was right though. He was speechless, that, he enjoyed that memory. That he would never forget how Sammy’s dimples were showing so much that day because he was happy. Dean knew that he could stay in that memory forever. Continuing to pretend to slay the enemy, but be at ease but there was no immediate danger.

“I know that, I’m... Not always kind. But, I somewhere deep- Deep, deep down, I have some form of heart.” Anan looked off into the distance. “I don’t... I’m not sure how I would describe it to you... But, I know what it’s like to love someone I can’t have. It’s a human. His name was Alex Genelix. He roams the earth currently, but, my family, all but one was going to kill him. Only Loki, my cousin refrained from doing so. But, he said, one day I’d owe him a favor.”

Dean just nodded, he wasn’t all that interested, but, maybe this could come in handy, if ever made it out of here to rescue Sam and Jess. If he couldn’t have his brother, he’d at least want him to be happy. That was what his job was right?

“You have any... Happy memories? You want me to bring back?” Anan asked.

“If I close my eyes, can you zap me there?” He said, his voice cracked, and scratchy.

*** *** ***

There were 3 parts too this dream. And that was because Dean wanted to rid his mind from Ruby as much as he could, but she just happened to be there at the time. She didn’t really go bye Ruby then though. Her name was... Christine? Kathy? Who the hell really knows.

This dream, it was seeing Sammy like this which broke his heart. that Sam moved on. But Sam kept the Samulet. Dean’s old amulet that Sam gave to him.

“Hey, is...” Sam started, but Sam stopped dead when he saw Dean standing in the doorway side by side with Bobby. Sam paled as if he’s seen a ghost. He swallowed, shocked, his eyes flicking between Dean and Bobby eyes showing no one emotion. Frustration and anger at the mocking pain of this being a mirage of his brother. Sadness, at how he’s pathetic and that Dean’s never coming back. Happy as if maybe this really is Dean. And murder, ready to kill this ‘Dean’.

Quietly, but with much feeling Dean managed to get out a strangled, “Heya, Sammy.” Dean knows that this dream hurts him, but it also makes him feel close to Sam. And that’s what he needs to feel right now.

Sam had remained silent, busy filtering his emotions. Dean stepped closer into the room, ignoring the woman who stood in only underwear by the door, who stepped aside to let him in. Dean got closer, and Sam pulled a knife and lunged at Dean.Which to most people would’ve been caught off guard, Dean taught Sam these tricks. The woman screamed; and Dean blocked Sam’s attack with decent skill. Bobby pried Sam off, gripping him around the shoulders. Sam struggled in a badly portrayed defense mechanism.

“ Who are you?!” Sam shouted in frustration, and confusion.

“Like you didn't do this?!” He accused, going along with movie Dean, not willing to fight,

“Do what?!” Sam hollered back in defense.

“It's him. It's him. I've been through this already, it's really him.” Bobby intervenes.

Sam stared at Dean in disbelief as the struggle he’d put up slowly went  out of his body “What...?”

Dean advanced cautiously, staring at Sam. “I know. I look fantastic, huh?” Dean kept up his cocky personality in order to keep himself for crying.

Bobby let go of Sam, who’s now  on the verge of tears as he stepped forward and pulls Dean into a desperate hug. Dean needed to feel the body heat radiating off of Sam. He missed it. He missed feeling that hair. Wet, or dry. It was his baby brothers. They embraced one another for several seconds, heavy with emotion, as Bobby watches the boys with tears in his eyes. Sam pushes Dean back to arm's length.

The young woman was watching as well, and she looked confused as hell which was a priceless look on her face knowing she was Ruby. “So are you two like... together?”

Sam looked like he'd just remembered that she was there. “What? No. No. He's my brother.” That hurt Dean, knowing that yeah, they were only brothers, but he still enjoyed that he was Sam’s center of attention. Not her.

“Uh... got it. I... I guess. Look, I should probably go.” She mumbled, fumbling around the room to get decent before leaving.

“Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Sorry.” Sam stuttered.

***

And that was just the first part. Because this, this was the feeling of reunion. the feeling of holding his baby brother in his arms again after being in hell. But, hell was bearable, but not being with Sammy is what ripped him apart, and almost turned him into a demon.

***

Sam came back into the room and sat down. He looked genuinely happy knowing that Dean was still alive, and meanwhile that warmed Dean’s heart he was not going to fight Movie Dean’s actions. He was just there to feel and see his little brother. Dean was standing above him, arms crossed. He and Bobby were both looking at Sam suspiciously.

“So tell me, what'd it cost?” Dean stated bluntly. Dean didn’t try to fight that movie Dean didn’t know the answer. Didn’t know any of the answers, while he knew all of them. It was like his ignorant body double, and that was weird.

Sam was still smiling. And Dean didn’t want to rain on that parade. But, life’s tough. “The girl? I don't pay, Dean.”

“That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?” Dean growled, and Dean knew that movie Dean wanted to be saved. He knew that he wanted to be with Sammy, but he understood Dean’s logic. That he was a gruff guy, but secretly a little nerd, who wanted to protect his little brother. Dean got what movie Dean was going after. But he just wished he’d dreamed himself up different. More... Subtle.

“You think I made a deal?” Sam asked.

“That's exactly what we think.” Bobby responded quickly, Even less subtle than Dean.

Sam scoffed. “Well, I didn't.”

Dean hissed intensely with frustration, rage, and the feeling of soon to come loss. “Don't lie to me.”

“I'm not lying.” Sam shrugged as if what Dean was talking about was the most nonchalant thing in the world. And that pissed Dean off enough.

Dean advanced forward. “So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this.” So that showed Dean wanted to be saved. But he wanted to put Sammy’s needs first.

Sam grew restless and just as frustrated. He rose, to stand, angrily. “Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?”

Dean grabbed Sam by the front of his shirt. He knew that this was Movie Dean’s approach. He would just have to relax and he would need go with it. “There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!”

Sam broke Dean’s grip by aggressively tugging it down. “I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry.”

Dean inhaled in sharply before exhaling the same push. “It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you.”

“Don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question.” Bobby said, ruining the moment. But, who could blame him..

“If he didn't pull me out, then what did?” Movie Dean asked dramatically.

***

That was just another moment that he got to spend with his baby brother. The one who he cared about so much. The one, who he wanted to spend every waking morning seeing. Same bed or not. He would put his arm out no matter how old they are for Sammy to grab. He had one more moment. Not a long one. But one of the most valuable.

***

“Hey, wait.”  Sam rose to his feet. “You probably want this back.” Sam reached into his collar and pulled out a cord. It was Dean’s Amulet. The amulet signified so much to them. It showed the day, when Sam decided that Dean was important, considerably more than John. The necklace showed that everyday Dean wore it, he fell farther in love with Sam. He showed Sam that he would never walk away, if he had his Amulet on.

He placed it in Dean’s hand. Dean looked at it, touched. And couldn’t hide the dorky smile that crossed his face that Sam always kept this with him. “Thanks.” Dean choked out. His eyes were welling with tears of happiness.

“Yeah, don't mention it.” Sam said as Dean placed the Amulet on it’s rightful place on his neck. Where it meant he could keep his promise. “Hey Dean, what was it like?” Sam suddenly asked.

“What, Hell?” Movie Dean frowned trying to come up with a reasonable look and lie to tell Sam. And if Movie Dean and Reality Dean had one thing in common it was, lying to Sammy. “I don't know, I, I must have blacked it out. I don't remember a damn thing.”

Sam nodded. “Well, thank God for that.”

“Yeah.”

*** *** ***

“I know... That I’m a bitch. I’ll face up to it. I don’t have a choice but to. But, I guess I can try to redeem myself one person at a time.” Eris mumbled softly lifting her eyes to make contact with Dean’s. Hers were glossed with tears.

“Well. You’re redeeming yourself to me.” Dean suggested giving her an honest smile. “And that’s a start.”

“The... Can’t or won’t thing I apologize for. I can’t actually. I could get you out of the room. But I can’t get past the warding in the hallways. I’m stuck here. And with me stuck. You can’t get out.” She said softly. “I’m so sorry.” She hung her head.

“Can’t blame yourself for something that’s not your fault.” I learned that from years of being trapped in my head. In my head the character I am. I just... I blame myself for everything. And it doesn’t make sense. I have no reasoning. I just do.” Dean looked at her. “Cross your heart, hope to die, and hope that maybe you’ll be forgiven for whatever happened. What did you do... Eris...? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Just that I loved Alex. Except, Alex didn’t believe in our religion. But that’s not his fault. He believed in, Angels. Most of which are dicks. But, you know. Alex was a believer. He said, maybe god had a plan for him. That maybe an angel would take control. I just melted in his beautiful blue eyes of his. The, tricksters thought they would make him believe one of them was an angel. And they did. Then they ripped him from the inside out as I was forced to watch. I was banished. And, well here I am. I was picking on a bunch of you. But, your brain itself showed me that I will love who I love. And I will manage resurrect Alex.”

Dean cried out as a pain rang from his body. He blacked out as his body remained in fetal position twitching.

*** *** ***

Dean knew the memory right away. It was when he first figured out that he was Sam’s soul mate. It’s when Ash took them to the roadhouse of memories. “Good God, the Roadhouse. It even smells the same.” Dean smiled.

Ash picked up his cape and mask. “Bud, blood and beer nuts. It’s the best smell in the world.” He walked behind the bar and snapped his fingers. “How 'bout a cold one? Up here? No hangover.” Dean still recognized his voice. It was the old, Ash voice. You could hear his alcohol, laced voice, but it still emitted his inner genius. And that’s why everyone like Ash. Because he was an intelligent, resourceful, but good with drinking guy. Basically what everyone needs in their life.

Dean and Sam sit on the bar stools. “So… no offense…” Starts trying to sound kind.

Ash interrupted which could only be good or bad. “How did a dirt bag like me end up in a place like this? I’ve been saved, man. I was my congregation’s number one snake handler.” Ash was like Dean said. Overall interesting based off of what he knows, and does.

Sam was smiling. “And you said this was your heaven?” Dean was happy to see Sam so enthused with stuff like this. It warmed his heart. So Sam could ask away.

“Yup! My own… personal…” Ash shotgunned his beer while Sam and Dean watch. He belches in that Ash way.

“And when the angels jumped us? We were…” Sam was officially confused now. Sam knew that look on his brothers face. It was actually... Adorable really. He was part puppy I swear.

“In your heaven.” Ash filled in.

“So there’re two heavens?” Sam was just more confused now and it was so cute that Dean let movie Dean do what he wanted. As long as he got to see Sam shocked and confused at the same time. Because that was adorable.

“No. More like a hundred billion. So, no worries, it’ll take those angels boys a minute to catch up.” Ash nodded more to himself than anyone.

Movie Dean was now completely confused. “What?”

“See, you gotta stop thinking of heaven as one place. It’s more like a butt-load of places all crammed together. Like Disneyland except without all the anti-Semitism.” Mentally Reality Dean thought the anti-Semitism comment was sort of funny. But, he was not going to force Movie Dean to break character.

Dean and Sam still looked hella confused.

“Disneyland?” Sam said like its the most messed up comparison in the world. And it probably was.

“Mm-hmm. Yeah. See you got Winchesterland.” He held up his hands to gesture around the bar. “Ashland.” He points all around outside the bar.  “A whole mess of everybody-else-lands. Put them all together: heaven. Right? At the center of it all? Is the Magic Kingdom. The Garden.”  

“So everybody gets a little slice of paradise.” Movie Dean strained to figure this out. And Reality Dean was chuckling at their ignorance.

“Pretty much. A few people share—special cases. What not.” Ash said, as if that meant nothing.

“What do you mean ‘special’?” Movie Dean still didn’t get it.

“Aw, you know. Like, uh, soul-mates.” Silence shows his statement as false. Movie Dean doesn’t look at Sam and Sam doesn’t look at him either. “Anyway. Most people can’t leave their own private Idaho’s.”

“But you ain’t most people.” Movie Dean’s voice went out of the way to make sure Ash heard, Ain’t.

“Nope.” He popped the ‘p’ so cliche like, it hurt. “They ain’t got my skills. Hell, I’ve been all over. Johnny Cash. André the Giant. “ He turned to Sam. “Einstein. Sam, that man can mix a White Russian. Hell, the other day? I found Mallanāga Vātsyāyana.”

“Who?” Sam asked.

“He wrote the Kama Sutra. Huh, that boy’s heaven? Ah, sweaty. Confusing.” Ash assured, and that was something that had no reason to be so. They weren’t reassured of what it was. And Dean was happy not knowing. Just another thing him and Movie Dean had in common. ‘Interesting, unneeded information’.

“All this from a guy who used to sleep on a pool table.” Dean said with a smile. That one wasn’t just Movie Dean’s line. Dean knew that it was true.

“Yeah. Now that I’m dead, I’m living, man, a whole lot more.” Ash chuckles.

“So how’d you find us?” Sam asks, going all geeky, which was so cute.

“I rigged up my very own...” He pulled a laptop from under the bar. Which was the most suspecting thing ever telegraphed. “Holy-rolling police scanner.” He hit the power button and it started up, it displayed a mess of sound graphs and made an annoying piercing sound. “That’s angels. Blabbing Enochian, okay? I’m fluent.” He turned it off and put it back under the counter. “I heard that you were up. Of course I had to come find you. Again.”

Movie Dean was surprised at this new knowledge. “Again?”

“This ain’t the first time here. I mean, you boys die more than anyone I’ve ever met.” Ash looks at them with a look of sarcastic/friendly disbelief in his eyes.

Movie Dean was even more surprised. “Really?”

“Ah, yeah… you don’t remember. God! Angels. Must’ve Windexed your brain.” Ash said frowning. With that ‘damn’ look in his eyes.

***

This one he was okay with. Same day. In heaven. But different part. A better, more loving part.

***

It was night. Dean was sat in the beloved Impala, sleeping. He was wearing his leather jacket over his normal clothes. Dean remembers that jacket. It was stolen on a case, but movie Dean was still asleep. And familiar to the feel of it. Thunder sounded. Movie Dean woke up. He got out of the car, and shut the door. The trunk closed as well. Dean knew what it was, but not Movie Dean. Dean let Movie Dean turn toward the sound in surprise. Teenaged Sam was standing there hair in his face, looking so adorable. Sammy held a crate of fireworks. His eyes were full of excitement. He was looking up at Dean like he was the most amazing thing in the world.

“Sammy?” Movie Dean asked, not sure where he was. Or what he was processing.

“Come on, let’s go.” Sam urged. He wanted to shoot of these fireworks to feel like a normal kid for once. Not killing monsters for a change. He wanted to feel what normal people felt on the fourth of July. To celebrate. Sam walked off with speed.

“Weird dream.” Movie Dean, was unsure what he was doing. Or where he was.

Sam placed the crate of fireworks on the ground. He began to pull out a couple of enticing one’s. And smiled bigger than almost any-time Dean’s seen.

“Got your lighter?” Sam’s face was lit by the stars, and his lips puckered up. They looked so kissable. But, Movie Dean wasn’t going for it.

Movie Dean checked his pockets, and surprisingly pulled out an old lighter, that he hadn’t had in awhile. “Whoa, I haven’t seen this in years.”

“Fire 'em up.” Sam eyes almost looked glossy as if he were about to cry tears of joy.

Dean lit Sam’s firework, watching Sam’s reaction. Then he lit his own. The go off, shot red sparks into the sky.

Dean and Movie Dean smiled “I remember this! It’s Fourth of July, 1996.” And it was. It was one of Dean’s greatest memories. Maybe Movie Dean didn’t understand what was happening. But Dean did. He got why this was one of his greatest hits.

The fireworks died, and even though it hurt Dean’s heart, remembered Sam’s words that were about to come that warmed his heart. Dean looked down at Sam. Sam looked over at Dean. Sam’s eyes were glowing joy.

“Dad would never let us do anything like this. Thanks, Dean. This is great.”

Sam hugged Dean. Movie Dean looked startled, but, Dean knew it was going on. Then he hugs Sam back. Sam pulled away. Sam lights all the fireworks then runs away. “Fire in the hole!”

The fireworks started to explode. Dean and Sam back away. Both of them laughing with joy before Sam goes out to dance under the sparks. It was one of those moments where he saw Sam at his finest. It was one of those moments where he saw Sam’s true beauty, and that the sparks flew over him, making his eyes flash colors.

Sam nodded over to Dean acknowledging the special moment. Dean nodded back. He knew why this was his heaven. Because Sam was heaven. To him. The most important thing in the whole universe to him.

*** *** ***

“Seemed like a special moment.” She said quietly looking off into the distance.

“It was. Sammy’s my whole world. In a different world.” I chuckled at my wording, I don’t know how I might describe the relationship between someone who probably doesn’t even know I’m alive.

“There is one thing though.” She mumbled. I glanced up at her, “Your father. I think he’s alive.”

*** *** ***

Dean knew this moment very well. He knew that it was a sharp stab to the heart. He knew that he was plannning on saying yes, because he couldn’t let anyone he loved get hurt. So he wrote a letter. It went like this,

Dear, All of you guys,

You have all rights to hate me. To call me a stupid asshole. To scream we could’ve worked this out. But, I can’t. I can’t work this out, risking my best friend, my baby brother, and my father. No matter what John was legally. Bobby, you were always my real dad. I can’t have you guys die, because you want to save me.

Which, reminds me. Sammy, you may not remember, but... 3 years ago now? 4? You were possessed by Meg. Maybe you saw what you did. Or heard what you said. But maybe you weren’t in it. I don’t know. But I do know, what came out of your mouth, even though it was Meg, she wasn’t wrong. “You're worthless. You couldn't save your Dad, and deep down ... you know that you can't save your brother. They'd have been better off without you.” She wasn’t wrong.

Sam, I know you’re going to yell at me, saying ‘Demons lie Dean!’. But that wasn’t a lie. I ruin everything I come in contact with. Sammy, my whole life has been about protecting you. Hell that’s my meaning. So I’m going to do what my real destiny is. Not some game with Michael that means I have to kill you. To do whatever I have to, so I don’t kill you.

Cas, you’re my best friend. You’re... My nerdy, interesting, angel friend. You’ve always helped us. You’ve rebelled against your whole family for me. You’re working with us to tear the pages that are implanted in your brain to do. Cas, buddy, take care of Sammy. And, never change.

Bobby, I’m sorry. I know I made you promise not to take yourself. But, I need to do this. No matter whatever came out of my mouth that says ‘You’re not my father’, is false. You’ve always said ‘Son, that’s why I’m here.’ And John would always say ‘Do it yourself.’ Thank you Bobby. For everything. Take care.

Lisa and Ben, Lisa, this is my stupid. I’ll make sure you’re safe. You make me happy. So does Ben. And Ben, when you grow up, you be good to your mom. Don’t make me come back, (If I die. Which I have no doubts.) And kick your little ass. I love you guys.

Sam, my baby boy. The little brother, I raised. The one I ran out of the house fire with. The one that I killed, Azazel, and Ruby with. The one who’s gone everywhere with me. The one who tried everything to get me out of hell. Sammy, I love you. You mean everything to me. But, that being said, I’ve always been willing to die for you, go to hell, become Michael’s bitch for you. Because you matter. You’re the one who I bathed as kids, the one who tried to help you with homework. Don’t do anything... ‘Me’ stupid.

That being said. Thank you. All of you. You all are the reason I haven’t kicked the bucket earlier. Stay safe. Stay strong. And now I’m crying.

Love & Sincerity,

Dean Winchester

*** *** ***

“That was a horrible memory.” She commented.

“Yeah. Try living it.” Dean laughed at his sarcastic remark that was used to cover up the pain that lined his brain with his heart.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked. And he watched her face crumple. “I never... The only way to regain their trust was to torture someone like you.” A tear slipped down her face. “I can’t.” She looked up above to the ceiling for guidance. But Dean has done this before, knows self-loathing. “I’m worthless I guess.”

“Eris. You’ve seen inside my head?” She nodded. “You know, that I’ve said the exact words you did.” She nodded again. “I have messed up, so much. I’m in love with my, maybe non-existent brother. I have called myself worthless. I’ve learned, that maybe, I’m not good, but my last words to my baby brother before I woke up were, ‘I’m proud of us.’ Us. Because, I’ve messed up. But, I helped kill the Yellow Eyed Demon, I tried to stop them from killing Lilith. I helped, and watched my little brother jump into hell as the devil. I tried to save my best friend in his war. I killed Dick Roman. I went to purgatory, escaped, I tried to help with the trials to board up hell, but sacrificed it for Sam. I watched the angels fall. I tried to save my brother with an angel. Yeah, Kevin died. But, I took on the Mark Of Cain. I killed Abaddon. So maybe I hate myself. But, I’m not worthless. Sam showed me that I wasn’t. I can’t let him down. Did Loki hate you?”

“No.” She whispered.

“Then don’t beat yourself up. For Loki’s sake. For the one who didn’t despise of you. For the one who showed you how. Right?” He said, tears slipping down his own face.

“Right.” She held her hand against her heart. “For Loki.” She smiled halfly.

A bright white light flashed the room. A pain seared in my head, and what I assume Eris could feel it too. And that was the last I saw before I blacked out.

*** *** ***

“Eris?” A bouncy, but emotion filled voice echoed throughout the room. “Eris? Where are you?” It said again.

“L-Loki?” Eris asked.

“Oh my god.” Dean couldn’t see the man’s face, but he could tell enough from the voice that he was crying. That he was breaking down seeing his little cousin torture herself like this. “Eris... I’m sorry.” Dean’s heart-shattered at this. “I... You’re my little cousin. Scratch that. You’re my baby sister. Don’t... Don’t be... ‘Me’.”

“Help me free the human.” Was all Eris managed.

“Of course. Of course, Eris. But... We’ll fix this alright. We always do.” He heard the voice falter. “We always do...”

“We’ll run away. Right?” She asked.

“Anything.” He sniffled, and Dean knew the feeling. The smoke cleared from his room. Dean looked at the clock, it was motionless. Time was frozen. He saw Loki. He had a lighter shade of brown, that was long and curled behind his ears. He was about 5’7”. Carmel eyes, that had large, or he guessed were currently dilated pupils.

Loki smiled at her, a warming gesture, and she strided over to him and pulled him in for a hug. Dean wasn’t one for chick-flicks, but this was a reunion of Demigods, of a girl who didn’t know how to figure out her family, and he could relate. Being the big brother to protect his little sibling.   
 “You keep her motivated?” Loki asked sad smile on his  face.

“Yes. Loki he did.” Eris said.

“I’m going to bring you to a motel, where ever your brain pictures. You’re going to be wearing whatever you picture. And you’re going to have a whatever you imagine next to you within reason. I wish you luck Dean Winchester. And... Thank you.”

Dean went to respond. But, before he could get a word in, he was gone.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

 


	2. Disentitled Dreams: Season 1: Episode 1:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first episode Pilot, but a twist here and there. For instance, what does Sam think of Dean? And, how will the deal with the 'woman in white'?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy. This is just the first episode. Hot damn. Well, I'll be writing. And don't be afraid to talk to me, I love people.

Disentitled Dreams: Season 1:

****** *********************************

“Holy.” Dean mumbled quickly, glancing around. Then the memories hit him. His body racked with shivers then his body went into a type of seizure.

*** *** ***

“One room.”

“Queen?”

“Yes.”

Dean was at Mermaid Inn. A lower priced motel, in the Stanford area. Dad was on a hunting trip, and, he hadn’t been home in a little while. Except, he got a voicemail. And he found it necessary to contact Sam instantly. It had been the old routine. Doesn’t matter if Sam has an apple pie life. He still has a brother. And a father. One of which could be, being tortured by the yellow eyed demon. Right now. I think we all know what might be more important.

*** *** ***

“Jesus.” Dean shook his head. He was wearing a black t-shirt, something of material he hadn’t felt in a while. Blue flannel that made it to his elbows, and next to him was a leather jacket. He looked down, and on his neck, was an amulet. It was one, from the dreams up inside his head. A samulet.

“Shit. I gotta find Sammy.”

*** *** ***

It was a dream come true for Sam. He had always believed that there might be some form of life, over the bridge that still roams the earth. As in, ghosts. Sam believed that they had, ‘unfinished’ business in this life. He always wondered where they went when they died. Heaven? Was heaven real? Hell?

Sam always pretended that Spirits did roam the earth. And, he pretended that he would solve cases. One’s like this that came up. Jerico California. He often had done research, wondering what it could be. The case was of a man being murdered mysteriously. No prints. Going along a road.

“Jess?” He asked.

“‘Sup hon?” Jess responded with cheer.

“What time’s the party at?”Sam smiled to put in no suspicions.

“6:30. So we’ve got...” She looked down to check her watch. “Two hours. Oh how to pass the time?”

“Depends...” Sam said slyly.

“No!” She laughed. “Later.”

*** *** ***

Dean waited. He remembered the address, that Jess gave to him. ‘50 Austin Avenue, Hayward, CA 94544... 21B.’ Which, made sense. Of course they had an apartment. They were a thing! He also remembered, that he doesn’t break in until tonight. Which is going be a long enough wait as it is.

What would he tell him? What would Sam believe?

***

“All right, here we go. So Dad was checking out this two-lane blacktop just outside of Jericho, California. About a month ago, this guy.” Dean handed the papers to Sam. The paper was a printout of an article from the Jericho Herald, headlined "Centennial Highway Disappearance" and dated Sept. 19th 2005; it had a man's picture, captioned "Andrew Carey MISSING". SAM read it and glanced up.

***

Dean shook his head at himself. Sam was a perfectly normal, rational, person. Sam wouldn’t believe a word he’d said. This, well, he’d have to come up with at the right time and place.

*** *** ***

Sam chuckled his way back, he wasn’t drunk, but he wasn’t sober. “Jesssss? Do I need an intervention...?” Sam joked.

“Would it hurt less if I said no?” She nudged with a blinding smile. He burst out in laughter, in chorus with hers. He knew in that moment that, maybe as a kid, he’d been orphaned, but Jess made up for it.

“You make the pain of my childhood hurt less.” He stated, and went in for a kiss.

“Wait. Sam?” She looked in his eyes directly. “What do you mean?”

Sam giggled with hysteria remembering. He knew that his brother was... Hospitalized. And, maybe his dad was dead? His mom roasted. Which shouldn’t be funny, but Sam was in so shape to be logical. “Everyone in my family was gone. My foster parents were always away. You took it away.” He smiled at her again.

She pulled him in for a kiss full of kindness. “What would I do without you?” Sam asked into the kiss as she grinded into him.

“Crash and burn.”

*** *** ***

Dean wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Well, he wasn’t. But, the ‘Oh powerful’ demigod Loki granted him it. Even better, the Chevy Impala. ‘67. She was beautiful. Dean didn’t want to sound like Queen. But he was in love with this car. And in the arsenal, it was full of weapons. And, the case that he was supposed to work now.

That being said, Dean also wasn’t the brightest light in the house. He wasn’t really sure how he would explain Sam who he was. And that was the main problem.

Dean inhaled anyway and made his way to Sam’s apartment anyway.

*** *** ***

Sam heard a noise in the house, it sounded like stumbling. Which could only be so many things. But seriously. It could be a ghost. One of the many things he believed to be true, and wanted to find.

“Shit.” He heard a curse from a voice in the other room. Obviously human. Clumsy, human. Maybe. “This is so, not how I wanted to make an entrance.” It muttered.

“Hello?” Sam called out. Obviously whatever it was, it didn’t want to bring much harm.

“In the kitchen. Want a sandwich?” It answered. Sam chuckled at it. Sam could almost picture an eyeroll.

“Nah. I had some shit to drink. I’m in no shape to eat.” He responded.

“Ouch. That’s the worst.”

“Are you going to show yourself. Or are you some- Ghost?” He mused.

“Best looking ghost ever.” It mumbled at itself. “What do I just seem like Casper!?” He barked.

“Whatever. Just... Show yourself.”

He watched the shadow slowly move until he saw what he was looking at. A beautiful, dreamy green-eyed man. And Sam’s head began to pound. “Dean.” It offered it’s name, which only make Sam’s head scream louder. It was like high-pitched frequencies flew threw his head.

“Shit do you feel that?” Sam shook his head again trying to clear the pain. His ears were ringing and now his head was banging with a painful bang.

“No...” Dean looked at Sam questionably.

“Ok. Don’t take this the wrong way. The whole ‘Best looking ghost’ thing’s true.” Sam massaged his temples ignoring what he’d just said to ‘Dean.’

“You’re pretty hot yourself.” Dean winked suggestively at him. And the headache cleared. Which was only the beginning of bad things.

“Sam?” A small, quiet, voice came from the doorway. “‘ts happening?” She glanced over at Dean.

“Family friend. Dean Harrison. Pleasure.” Dean offered his hand to her.  And Sam was glad this guy was able to cover up things right away.

“Yeah...” Sam trailed.

“I had to swing into town. I’ve got to steal your boyfriend.” Dean laughed. And gave Sam a look.

“Why? Sam’s got a interview.”

“It’s our dad’s. It won’t be long. I suggest you, you know get out of the house. Say hello to your old friends from other states.”

Sam nodded at Dean with a forced smile and an intent glare. He turned to face Jess. “Can we talk in private?” He asked her.

“Of course hon.” She turned to head back to their bedroom, and Sam grabbed Dean’s wrist and dragged him into the stairwell.

“Who the hell are you? What do you want?” Sam asked rapidly.

“Chill it Kojak. Look, I know one of your hobbies.” Dean smirked.

“What? How did you know about that?”

“I do it. It’s how I survive. My mother got killed by one when I was little.” Dean looked into his eyes.

“Demon?” Sam moved his eyes to read Dean’s face. He saw a tremble within his hand. He chewed his lip, and in a way was really hot- Wait, this was a guy, he just met. Wait- That shouldn’t be the problem. He’s dating Jess! The love of his life! The girl he told, just five hours how she made up his life.

“Yeah. And, believe it or not, it’s coming after Jess, but first, I need your help, and I need you to talk Jess into leaving the apartment.”

“Or not.” Sam said in disbelief.

“It needs you angry! The demon is going to try to use you! If you listen to me, we solve this case! We get back in time! I kill the demon that’s going to try and kill Jess! And you move on with your life! I can try!” Dean shouted.

“What are you talking about?!” Sam snapped back.

“The Yellow Eyed Demon. It wants you. You’re it’s favorite. He wants you to become his bitch! And I...” Dean didn’t finish.

“What?” Sam etched on.

“I care about your existance. Alright?”

That shouldn’t have turned Sam on. But, it did. “Do you now?” Sam pushed farther.

“I care... A lot.” Dean glanced back at Sam, and Sam huffed out a breath. Sam should not have been this happy.

“What do you need me to do?” Sam tried to change the subject, so he wouldn’t get a boner, from just looking at those lips. And his gelled up hair. And what it would feel like to run his hands over those sharp curves... Dammit Sam no!

“There’s a case out in Jericho. It’s, a poltergeist of some sort.  Sam. You need to trust me.”  
“Why!? What incentive, do I have to believe you’re telling the truth?!” Sam hollered back. Giving Dean a shove.

“Because. I knew where you lived, I knew the room. I knew about Jess, and the Yellow Eyed Demon, and about Ghosts, and Werewolves, and Vampires, Ghouls, Pagans! Sam! I knew because I had to find you!”

“But why me!?” Sam’s all but understanding. “This doesn’t make sense.” Sam tried to calm his rising anger. “If I go with you...”

“We can try and fix this sooner... Maybe if I have a vision- Or something, we can get back in time. You can save Jess!”

“You  don’t even know my last name.”

“Hell yeah I do. Samuel Winchester, Hell when, you were twelve, you won a Division Championship Trophy, that to this day is missing. Isn’t it?”

“Yes... How did you..?”

“One of your favorite childhood memories was finally having a real Thanksgiving with headgear, and she gripped your leg, and you flinched.” Dean looked nauseous.

“Okay... I trust you.”

“Damn straight. Pack your bags, we’ll discuss the case in the car.”

“Car?” Sam was confused on which car they were going to take.

“Not your ratty ass, newbie, that shows off. We’re taking baby, beautiful, ‘67 Chevrolet Impala. Ain’t she amazing?” Dean gazed at the car as they made it outside for a minute. “Well, catch you in a few.” And Dean made his way to his beloved car.  

*** *** ***

That didn’t go anywhere near as bad as Dean imagined it would go. Somehow, he got the point across. Which, still baffled him. What did scripted him say? ‘Dad’s on a  hunting trip.’ Nice cover Dean. Use what they want you too.

“So, what’s going on?” Sam was still hesitant.

Dean threw the papers at him, they had headlines, they all dated back to the past twenty years. Which meant it started then. So they had a time frame, of when the ghost died. Around twenty years ago.

“All men, all of them in a certain radius of one another. Which can’t just be a coincidence. Anyway, a partner of mine, went to check it out, he’d been gone for three weeks.”

Sam seemed entertained while reading these papers. As if they gave him some sort of thrill. “I would say I checked into it, but... I read the papers, I even did a little of my own research on the case. I’ve never really wanted to be involved in this crap. I just thought it was interesting to read, and pretend.”

“Sorry Sammy. Things that go bump in the night, if you know about ‘em, they’ll want you dead. So, if you jump off this train, I’m giving you one of my guns, and a canister of salt, and all the exorcisms I can think of.” Dean didn’t want to overwhelm the poor kid, but he didn’t want to lose him. So, he would make sure he had the survival necessities.

“That’s comforting.” Sam scoffed at my words.

“Sorry Princess. I’m not the bringer of good news. ‘S not my job.” Dean averted his eyes to Sam, in the passenger seat. “And, just so you know, I wasn’t kidding about you being Mr. Handsome. What’re you, ‘Top Hollywood Model’?” Dean chuckled.

“No.” Sam flushed red. “You’re... This’ll sound gay, but hot. Seriously, that whole ‘hunting monster’ thing, keep you in shape.”

“I happened to notice, you’re in shape... You work out?” Dean asked.

“Generally... I was raised in Flint Michigan. Not the... Safest city in America?” Sam looked lost in thought about the city.

“Oh really?” Dean tried to create conversation.

“Flint reported 2,337 violent crimes per 100,000 people. The city also reported 83 forcible rapes per 100,000 people. The national average is 26.8 forcible rapes per 100,000 people.” Sam recited.

“Sounds rehearsed.” Dean mocked. Until he got an unexpected answer.

“It is.” Dean’s brain froze momentarily and he turned to see Sam’s face which was a mask of no emotion.

“Excuse me?”

“My mother died in a housefire. A long with my brother. And my father had a mental break, and hasn’t been seen since.” Sam’s eyes glimmered while the rising sun shone on them. “Worse, my brother’s name was Dean. They never told me what happened. I was told he died on the table.” Dean flinched, and Sam’s eyes were brimming on tears.

“Yeah, I had a brother, his name was Andrew. I was supposed to carry him out of the house fire. But I tripped, and lost him from my grip.” Dean averted his eyes to meet Sam’s.

“Was it the Demon?”

“I think it was just me. Failing. As usual.” Dean smiled weakly at Sam. His eyes full of pain.

“I want to help you. For another reason.” Dean furrowed his brow at Sam’s remark. “You don’t deserve that guilt. I want to fix it.” Sam’s eyes were glowing with pride. He gave Dean a sincere smile.

“You don’t have to do that.” Dean chuckled, a small tear fell. Sad smile. He glanced at Sam out of the corner of his eyes.

“I do. Because obviously no one was there to tell you, that you matter. And, I don’t know you well Dean, but I do know, that you seem great. You’re what I imagined Dean would be like.” Sam giggled. “Except, I would probably not be able to contain the fact that I think that my brother would be hot.”

“I mean...” Dean pretended to check out his own ass. “I bet your brother would love to be blessed with this fine ass.”

“Jerk. I was just saying, that if my brother looked like you. I’d probably get a boner everytime he left the shower.” Sam moved his eyes back to the road.

Dean grabbed out a box from the backseat leaving his eyes from the road. “We’re going to die in this car.” Sam muttered. “You can’t even keep your eyes trained on the road.” Dean pulled out a box of cassette tapes. “You wouldn’t no modern if it smacked your ass.” Sam groaned.

“Hey. Metallica. Motorhead. Def Leppard. Led Zeppelin. AC/DC. Black Sabbath. Appreciation.” He gestured to them as he said there names. Sam groaned. “Hey, I will play Stairway to Heaven.”

“God no!” Sam laughed, and then moaned out in a happy tone, that made Dean’s dick like. Dean thought of this worst images he could to clear his mind. Umm... That one overweight patient who ate himself to death. And his corpse had been rotting. Ew. That seemed to do the trick.

Sam scowled. “Did you just have a momentarily boner?”

“Why were you looking.” Dean retorted defensively, which did the right thing, and Sam began to blush furiously. “I was thinking about a waitress, at a bar the other week. She could give a serious blow job.” Dean lied.

Sam rolled his eyes in disgust. “Thanks for the extra information. You know you could’ve left it at waitress.”

“She had such petite hips, and she had such a pretty mouth, beautiful luxurious hair. But her mouth, it was full and perfect, and the inside could take my whole length. She rubbed her mouth up and down me, and expertly licked the tip with swirls-”

“Dude gross.” Sam glared at him, his eyes full of sarcasm.

“I don’t know Sammy, you let me explain the first half, no interruption.” Dean smirked at him.

“How long do I have to be in the car with you?”

*** *** ***

After an hour of being in the car they pulled up in Jericho, they stopped at Meadowbrook Motor Lodge, even though Dean insisted that they got to something with the name not including ‘Meadow’, Sam won him over by telling him it also said ‘Motor’, and that was good for Dean’s ‘baby’.

“Whatever bitch.” Dean grinned at Sam.

“Jerk.” He popped the ‘k’.

And that made Dean. They were laying in there king sized bed in the motel, the only thing left. “Hey Sam?” He asked.

“What?” He responded genuinely.

“Have you ever imagined... I don’t know... Your life was a script? Like, already planned out, but you knew what it was... And... Maybe you didn’t like it, so you change it?” Dean frowned at his own badly worded remarks.

“I’ve never thought of that. But, if I would change it, I would change my brothers death. I mean, I needed him. And, he wasn’t there.” Sam smiled at Dean with an emotion filled smile.

Dean nodded at the response. And tried to hide the cringe that filled his face. The words, ‘I needed him. And, he wasn’t there,’ broke his heart. It tore it to pieces. Because, that’s what Dean was supposed to do. “I’ll  be your new brother.” Dean suggested, he beamed.

Sam chuckled, which Dean was unsure how to take, and then Sam followed it up with, “Oh yeah. Once this is over, I’m so making you get to know Jess.”

Dean laughed along at Sam’s comments, but tried to keep his heart from shattering. From the fact that Sam wasn’t planning on leaving Jess. And, how Could Dean take that away? “She’s way out of your league.” He said instead.

Dammit Dean! Dean shouted at himself mentally. You’re making your mind become taken over by the fake. Dean continuously debated with himself, trying to win his war, that was the sum of his depression. His will.

“You okay?” Sam questioned, staring at him from the other side of the bed with just as an equal of a look.

“Yeah. It’s just, I feel like I’ve met you before. Like a cool guy at a bar. Or someone I hustled...” I wasn’t sure if I was lying, but I wasn’t sticking to the ‘script’.

“I don’t get hustled.” Sam smirked at him before rolling over to face the other way.

*** *** ***

Sam woke with a start, he was in an uncomfortable position, until he realized he was underneath someone. And they were only in their boxers. And... Wait? Did he make out with a guy?

Sam blinked twice before it came back. ‘Hot guy shows up, tells you about Jess. And you’re on a mission to save her. ‘

He felt his ass pressed back against Dean’s morning wood. And that was awkward.

“Sam...” Dean moaned quietly. As he rubbed on Sam. Sam didn’t move. He didn’t know how to breathe. Dean was having a dream about him. “Jesus Sam...” He groaned, and a sticky substance was in the front of his boxers.

Sam didn’t know how to respond to this newfound information. He still had Jess back at home, and there apartment, and school... And interviews. But, right here with Dean was perfect. Living. Not working.

Dean accidentally cupped Sam’s... You know... Sam shuddered in pleasure. Part of him was yelling at himself for letting himself enjoying this. But the other part of him pressed into the touch. Begging for more silently. “Eager baby boy.” Dean whispered. And that’s when Sam realized that Dean wasn’t asleep. Not anymore.

Dean drew his hand away. And Sam wasn’t sure if he was mad or not. His body wriggled a little with the lack of friction. “You want it? I mean, you have Jess.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Sam.

“I- I...” His voice cracked. “Please.”

Dean barked a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re asking for.”

“Please don’t make me ask.” Sam was flushed red.

“I’m sorry. But I don’t really have a choice. I don’t know what you want from me, if you can’t tell me.” Sam could feel Dean’s smirk against his neck.

Sam arched backward. He pushed himself into Dean, not wanting to ask. “Can’t hear you Sam.”

“God Dean.” Sam shook all over. “Please... Just touch me...”

“That’s the right attitude.”

*** *** ***

“Okay, so maybe you’re in drivers seat, but you played this album for the fifth time. And I’m sick of it. We’re listening to the radio.” Sam whined.

Dean rolled his eyes. And groaned as he changed it to radio. “What is this music.....?” Dean complained.

“It’s a band called Simple Plan. Jackass.” Sam cranked it up louder. “Do be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked, when you're down, to feel like you’ve been pushed around... To be on the edge of breaking down... And no one’s there to save you!” Sam grinned.

“That’s what I’m here for.” Dean looked over at Sam.

Sam gave him a look with the puppy eyes, but still smiling. “I met you like a day and a half ago, and we’ve already done so much shit.”

Dean chuckled, and went over the case mentally. Originally, in his dream, Sam was ‘bait’, and Dean would not tolerate that. He remembered that he was going to get arrested, but at least he protected Sam in his head. “I feel like, I’ve known you for years.” Sam glanced over at Dean. Eyes were enlarged. Pupils blown.

Dean knew that Sam saying that, could blow his cover. “I’m an average guy.” Dean said with a shrug.

“Dude, you gave me one of the best nights with anyone last night. You’re under no circumstance average.” Sam rose his eyebrows at Dean. Dean flushed red with Sam’s choice of words.

“I’m a little bit everywhere.” Dean lied.

Sam’s brow furrowed, as he quirked an eyebrow. “Like... Almost in a dream...” Sam gazed into the distance for a few moments. “‘Ts strange.”

“Well, get as much of me as you can.” Dean smiled. “Cause once you get Jess back to safety, you’ll probably never see me again. Except for in the newspapers under strange deaths.”

“And why the hell not?” Sam growled. Dean frowned in confusion. “Why can’t I see you?” Sam was angry in a way.

“You won’t want to see me. You’ll have Jess, and you’ll be a lawyer, with- A-a white picket fence, and get engaged next year, have kids, why would you want a hunter of demons like me around?” Dean inquired.

Sam’s jaw dropped. “What makes you think I want Jess anymore?”

“Just ‘cause I can give a good blow-job, doesn’t mean you’ll want me anymore later.” Dean wiped his arm across his face to avoid the tear for falling.

Sam shut his mouth. And didn’t huff out a breath until a moment later. “You know, no matter what you say, I don’t believe it.”

*** *** ***

The next day of discussing run-throughs of safety, a little bit of gun work, Sam hadn’t shot in a while, Dean was ready to drag Sam’s ass out the door so that he could finish the case, and Sam could go home.

“Hello. Um, we’re local reporters, so are you Joseph Welch?” Sam asked timidly.

“Yeah...” He rumbled. “Look I already went through this with another reporter.”

“Yeah, black hair? Soft of scruffy looking? Older-ish...?” Dean said with instinct. Even though he doubted that he would have John Winchester in this real life shit, maybe it was a man that looked like him but was a jerk hunter. That would be logical.

“Yes.”

“Good. We’re going through the case with him, he’s my dad, and I’m with my friend, since we’re going to try going into business, so I wanted to work a case... And we wanted to prove to him that we could do it to! So, if you wouldn’t mind, could we have a few answers...?” Sam smiled at Dean, happy that he was so good at this.

“Look, it’s an emotional subject. Luckily for you, I prepared, so just... Take this.” He handed Dean a stack of papers. "But I swear to god if I se your asses on my property, I'm calling the cops."

Dean's eyes widened, then he let them fall. "Sure. Thanks sir."

"Beat it."

*** *** ***

Dean grinned brightly at Sam. He hoped the message got through. That they lucked out on basically what they were about to do. "Skill." Dean nodded.

"Um, no. That was luck, there was no skill involved."

Dean rolled his eyes pretending that Sam's comment offended him, but currently he had other worries, like how should he solve this case? What should he tell Sam? What other lies can he throw out there? What if he doesn't make it to Jess in time? Jesus, saving your baby brother isn't easy.

Sam on the other hand, had his own thoughts he was going through. For instance, how could he convince to Dean to stay? To show Dean that he mattered? Sam loved Jess, but given the choice he'd much rather wake up to Dean in the morning instead of Jess. Dean was perfect, caring guy. Who wouldn't want that?

"I believe it's a woman in white." Dean said randomly.

Sam grabbed his laptop, "Woman in white..." He mumbled under his breath and began to search it.

The general term for this Mythical creature is a "White Lady". It is also known as a Woman in White or a Weeping Woman.

A White Lady is a type of female ghost/apparition and is often seen in rural areas and associated with tragedy. The most common story behind this legend is that of a woman being betrayed by a husband or fiancé and then taking her own life.

In some myths, the women murder their own children after the betrayal of their spouse, and then commit suicide.

These apparitions are often said to be harbingers of death. It is also often found under "Ghostly Hitchhikers" and the like because in some stories, she is seen by the side of the road, waiting for unfaithful men to pick her up.

The names "White Lady" and "Woman in White" refer to reported sightings describing these ghosts as a Caucasian females wearing a flowing white dress. "Weeping Woman" refers to a specific Hispanic Legend (explained below). Several variations of this myth from the United Kingdom, United States, Slavic mythology, and Brazil are also detailed below.

Though there are many apparitions that people give the "White Lady" title to, not all of them fit with the actual description of what she is. To claim a female spirit is, in fact, either a "White Lady", "Weeping Woman", or "Woman in White" she has to have been betrayed by a lover.

If this is not a factor, but the apparition still cries, "weeps", or screams when seen, then she might be described as a "Weeping Woman" even without a story of betrayal.

"So, it kills unfaithful men? Because of a past? Good morals, bad expressing." Sam glanced back at Dean who was staring out the window.

"Sam. You need to scat, cops are here. Why? I don't know, I'll keep you covered." Dean snuck through the door and, Sam grabbed his laptop, and threw it in his bag.

*** *** ***

The cop glared at Dean. “So, you’re the escapee from the mental ward.” The cop scoffed at him. He trailed his eyes, and sized Dean up.

“Sure. Can’t be to mental if I escaped.” Dean smirked.

The cop chuckled one of those sarcastic laughs, and smashed Dean’s chest on the car, kept his hands behind his back. “Can you escape this position?”

“Sounds pretty sexual to me.” Dean simpered.

The cop slammed him on the car with more force again. “You have the right to remain silent.” He whispered into his ear.

“Ooh, seductive whispers.” Dean grinned.

“Anything you say! Can and will be held against you!” The cop gritted.

“Brad Pitt, wait no, no- Orlando Bloom.” Dean like provoking the cop, and it also gave Sam more time to get in the impala and get the hell out for a few minutes. Dean would have to lie his way through this interrogation, and then leave, when they’re not looking.

Dean had a plan.

*** *** ***

“Can I have my one phone call?” Dean pestered for the third time in a minute.

“Shut up for a goddamn minute son, I’m getting there!” The older cop shouted as fidgeted with the desk phone. “You know what? Take it.” The man shoved the phone in Dean’s hands.

“Hello. This is Domino’s how may we help you?” A female voice asked politely from the phone.

Dean smiled. “Well sweetheart, I’m officer...” Dean glanced at other Cops name tag, and he was glad no one was listening to his phone call. “Officer Bentheimer... And, I’m buying pizza for the guys, for all of the hard work with paperwork. So, I’m ordering, five meat lovers pizza...”

“Oh! You’re an officer! I’ll pay for your food, on me!” She exclaimed cheerfully. “We don’t need an address, we all know where the station is! Thanks Officer!”

Dean nodded his head on his line. “Thanks Mam.”

“Anything for an officer.” Dean could hear her giggle from the other line and Dean would wait for it show up.

*** *** ***

“You know son... You-” The world began to spin. A voice equivalent to his was talking to him now. “I don’t know. You need to lay the hell off. Follow original lines. Tell Sammy the truth!” It shouted at him.

The cop was no longer in the room, Dean was trapped in his head. There was a mirror image of himself sitting in the chair. Dean thought he was done with these visions, but, alas he wasn’t.

“I don't know how many times I gotta tell you. It's my high school locker combo.”

The sheriff was still continuing the  interrogation over the "DEAN 35-111" page.

“We gonna do this all night long?” The sheriff glared, and Dean smiled cheekily.

*** *** ***

The sheriff stared at Dean intensely. “And he’s done talking.” The sheriff mused, before standing up. And the bell rung from the front of the office.

“Umm? Sheriff?” A quiet voice came from the door. “We have the stuff...” It trailed off.

Dean looked down and so the paper clip on the ground. He snatched it up, and began to pick at his lock expertly. Dean then maneuvered across the table and scrolled some words on a piece of paper.

“Who the hell ordered all the pizza’s?!” The sheriff shrieked.

Dean grinned, the note had said, You said I got my one phone call.

*** *** ***

“I got a lead.” Sam said from the phone. “So, the death house of this woman, would be an abandoned home, right off of the highway, and according to legend, you take this woman back to her death house, she acknowledges what she’s done... So, is there anyway we could try and trick her into coming back to her house...?” Dean could tell Sam was fidgeting on the other end, because of the occasional ruffle of bed sheets, and the mac-books groan of protest.

“To be honest, she wouldn’t like you, nor me. Well. I haven’t cheated... But, I don’t have a relationship. But you on the other hand have Jess, and did stuff with me... And, it doesn’t count though, or at least it shouldn’t cause-” Sam had hung up the  phone, obviously upset with Dean’s rant. And Dean didn’t get why... Sam would never, ‘love’ Dean.

Text Message from Sam Winchester: Really? Doesn’t count? Douchewad.

Look Sam...  Sending...

Text Message from Sam Winchester:  No I get it.

What hot-shot? Sending...

Text Message from Sam Winchester: It didn’t mean anything to you.

Dammit Sam no! It’s that you won’t even remember me in... What a year? Just a faceless guy who helped you out with Jess. Sending...

Text Message from Sam Winchester: Why do you think that I want Jess? Why can’t I have you?

It’s a temporary setting, you won’t want me next week. Sending...

Text Message from Sam Winchester: Serious?

Dean ignored Sam’s text, this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. It wasn’t worth it. He loved Sam, but it wasn’t worth the pain to go through this, when he wouldn’t want Dean. And he would forget him. So why should Dean try anyway?

*** *** ***

Sam was fumed, and was sitting in a new motel room. Waiting at the door for Dean to show up. The man, nearly gets arrested for no reason, and then Sam wants Dean, but Dean refuses to believe it. Dean didn’t get that, just Sam meeting him changed his view in life. He didn’t want ‘white picket fence’, anymore. He wanted Dean. And wanted to hunt.

The sound of scuffing outside the door made Sam move to the door instantly. He ripped the door open and Dean stumbled in, that trademark smirk covering in his face.

“You don’t understand! I love you!” Sam shouted, and slammed Dean up against the door and brought his lips to Dean’s.

Dean pushed him away lightly. “Sam, I love you, but I can’t, well A, have chick-flick moments, and B, it’s not worth it.” Dean frowned, and Sam was raging at Dean’s words of choice.

“Not worth it?! Dean it does have worth!” Sam was royally pissed, and hella confused.

“It’s worth it for... Hmm? A week, week and a half.” Dean pretended to seem confused. “Why would I put my heart through hell, because you’re going to leave me?” Dean began to grow more angered.

“We can discuss this later, we have a case to finish.” Sam growled.

“We have a case to finish, there will  be no discussion, I’ll find who I’m looking for, and keep you and Jess protected. And you won’t ever talk to me again, because I won’t let you.”

*** *** ***

Dean and Sam knew that, there was the risk that she would go after Sam, but Dean never has... ‘Relationships’. Sam doesn’t really know that, but Dean won’t ever tell him. Guess it’s just a gift Dean possesses. Not that it’s a bad thing...

But like he said, Sam’s the biggest risk, and Dean never risks Sam, so he agreed to take the car, or his beautiful baby in that case, and drive down the highway.

Although one conflict, would be that Sam believes that they should both be in the car, because that way if Dean’s wrong, Sam can save him, and it’ll be one on two. Which is good logic, but Dean wasn’t sure he was ready to risk anything, but Sam being Sam, was about to stop at nothing to ensure they solve this case. Because Sam liked hunting now. Why? Well, assume that it’s because he wants Dean to see that he can stay.

There was a flicker of the lamp post. Dean squinted, and there she was. A beautiful, brown-black haired woman, with a torn white dress, with sharp features, and Dean appreciated her, but he had to banish her off to wherever she was bound to go.

“Be  careful Sam.” Dean muttered, with no emotion behind it at all. Sam felt mildly offended, but then remembered that this ‘no emotion’ personality thing, was going on because Sam and Dean were in a mental fight.

Sam grunted, and Dean glared at him. “I wasn’t asking.” Dean growled, then pulled the car off to the side where the lady stood.

It began to laugh, then appeared in the car. “Boys, boys, boys...” It smirked. “First of all, Dean, wouldn’t take you for the type, making Sammy boy over here a cheater, and gay. Wow. That’s new.” She chuckled at herself. “Anyway, Dean, you know that you can’t stop him.”

“Azazel? Like hell I can’t.” Dean scoffed.

“That’s not how the story goes. And you know it.” Dean gave her a testy look. “Although, Sammy’s not a part of this conversation,” and Sam could almost see Dean exhale sharply with relief.

*** *** ***

“C’mon Dean.” She blinked her eyes twice. Dean glanced over at Sam, who was currently deaf. “Sam can’t hear.”

“Don’t tell him.” Dean hissed.

“Okay. Fair.” She reasoned.

“I’ll make a deal... Anything, just spare Jess, let her and Sam go...” Dean’s eyes were pleading with her to reason.

“Azazel needs Sammy perfect. Jess, is gonna set him on the course.” Dean groaned with agony, as she laughed, “The names Tammi.” She looked off into the distance for a moment. “This case, wasn’t real. It was... A lure. Not for you, but for you.”

*** *** ***

“Tell me why?” Sam said.

Dean just looked out the window.

“Answer me.”

Silence was the only response he got.

“Your justification is astounding.” Sam murmured.

Dean glared at Sam.

“Why won’t you stay?!” Sam exclaimed.

“That’s your concern!?” Dean shouted back, finally cracking.

“Um, yeah.”

Dean moved his eyes back to the road. “You’re girlfriends in danger, you were just muted by a demon, and you're concerned about me coming with you?!” Dean was pissed now.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Sam announced.

“I should’ve never come around.” Dean breathed.

Sam flinched. “W-what?” Sam whimpered.

“I ruined everything you and Jess had. Now you don’t even care that she’s going to die.” Dean heeded the ceiling of the Impala. “I’m dropping you off. You and Jess stay on the move. And you forget about me.”

*** *** ***

When they pulled up to Sam’s apartment. Sam leaned over and kissed Dean. Dean gave no response. “I’m not gonna be able to forget you.” Sam said.

“Try.” Dean rasped. His throat clogged with unsaid words, and tears at the back of his eyes.

Sam gave Dean puppy eyes, but knew they wouldn’t work. “I love you Dean.” Sam crawled out of the car. Looking back at Dean repetitively. Making sure Dean knew Sam would never leave that time period away.

“Hey-a Jess.” Sam called into the house to see if it was empty or not.

“Sam!” She shouted from the kitchen, she came storming out and captured Sam on the lips.  “Missed you!” She smiled and nuzzled his neck. “How was your time with... Dan? Dean?”

“Dean. And, our dads were... Being Dads. They fell asleep, in Dean’s dad’s friends cabin. They left their phones back at camp. So, they just couldn’t check in.” Sam chuckled. “Dean thought it was anticlimactic.”

Jess giggled. “Alright hon. Well, I’m gonna take a shower, I visited my grandma, and at the elderly home, and well... I got threw up on.” She scrunched her nose up. “BRB.” She laughed, and grabbed the towel off the hook and hurried into the bathroom.

*** *** ***

Dean didn’t remember exactly when Jess were to die, but he didn’t leave yet. He stayed outside the building pretending to be asleep, and he also wanted to see Sam’s reaction.

“No! Jess!!” A voice rung from the apartment, Dean flung up, and jumped out of the car.

Fire began to lick up the sides of the walls, Dean could see it through the window. “Sam!” He hollered. He ripped the front door open, and smashed through the whole house.

“Sammy!” He shouted again. He saw Sam’s form looking defeated on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Dean lurched forward as the heat bit at his skin, causing blisters to form up his body.

Dean grabbed Sam’s motionless body and yanked him into his arms bridal style, a wooden plank fell behind them, and Jess’s face was made up of horror and grief. Dean looked careful and saw black smoke exit her mouth. Not that it fully registered, but would that mean the real Jess never loved Sam? Or that she never got to experience Sam?

Dean crashed out the front door, and sirens blasted through the area. Fire trucks tried to put it out, and save the other residents. While Sam sat and cried into Dean’s chest as they watched Jess’s lifeless body fall from the ceiling and land on the bed.

“`M sorry Sammy...” Dean whispered, rocking Sam back and forth, as tears fell freely.

****  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy it? I'll be sure to write more. BTW, this is my first fic on here. So, yeah. I'm new to the Archive other than the fact that I've been reading on it for ages. Love you all!


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